October Check-in

So, my goals kind of flew out the window this month. It was a tough one.

I'm up on the scale about as much as I was down, but I'm actually pretty happy with that:

Midway through September, we accidentally got a carton of low-fat no sugar added ice cream. Oops. Didn't taste good - it was full of chemicals and they definitely have a flavor. But the day after I ate it I was four pounds heavier. I've known for a while that I'm sensitive to chemicals, but this was a big reaction, even for me. Needless to say, I'm not interested in that kind of ice cream. (Normal sugary, fatty ice cream doesn't bother me like that.) Typically, if I have a soda or something like that, I'll gain, but it comes off in a day or two, so it's more annoying than anything else. This time, though, it took about two weeks for me to stop feeling fluffy and start seeing the scale creep back to where it had been. About that time, it was time for my cycle, and I always gain a bit right before that; it's normal for me. So, although I'm up just a tad from last month, I'm still pretty happy: the weight from the ice cream is pretty well gone, and the monthly weight will be over soon, and I can see where I'm at again for real.

October is Here!

October! A wonderful month. Autumn weather finally starts making an appearance, Halloween decorations can start going up. Just have to watch out for all the candy!

Making habits is rough business!! The inertia of my rut is *strong*. Here's what we have for this month's check in.

Eat Veggies every day:
So, this one was spotty.. some weeks I did pretty good, but other weeks not so much. But overall, a slight improvement from last month.. I give it a C+

Don't eat dessert every day:
This one. This is where my rut is so hard to get out of... It's almost like sweets are my replacement for a mom's quintessential wine at the end of the day. That and I struggle with moderation, so I've decided to change this one up. I'm going to take 10 days off, no dessert. Then, from there only once a week. This one seems more quantifiable and easier to track.
Replacing the bad snacks, I've been eating more almonds and craisins and apples with peanut butter. It's been 3 days, so still early but, so far, so good! C

Get up and move every day:
I've been keeping trying to dance around more, getting out for walks more frequently.. There's always room for improvement, but I say, overall, a C+ here.

Still, there's strength in not stopping. I'm still going.. slowly, slowly, but still going. Trying to get a better handle on things before the holidays really set in!

I am one day in to trying to get myself turned around on the healthy diet, healthy weight efforts.  I have to admit that I have not done well lately.  I thought that I would steal DoriAnn's idea and set some goals here.

1. Get to bed no later than 11:00.  I do not do well in any area if I do not do well here.
2. Walk at least 3 times a week, even if it is only for a few minutes.
3. Pack a lunch for work and work on eating cleaner - less sugar - no chocolate -. Plan an afternoon snack for my afternoon slump when all the sweets that float around the building don't look so inviting.
4. Drink more water.
5. Journal what I eat.

Life is crazy.  I had to buy bigger pants for work.  I am not pleased with myself.  I do not want to put back on the weight I have lost.  I have lost 85 lbs.  I still have 21 left to go to get to my goal.  That should be nothing - but I have been working on this last little bit of weight lose for ever!  I need to find new motivation.  Something to get me past the discouragement and complacency I feel.  Thank you for starting this back up again, ladies.  I am hoping that this will help.

Love,

Mom

September Check-in

So! It's another new month! I'm really liking having this blog active again, and I'm liking this monthly interval, too.

Here's how I did in August:

First of all, I'm down about 2 1/2 pounds for the month! Which is pretty exciting -- let's see if I can keep that rolling, rather than finding it again. That would be really nice. Given the stress that we've got at our house right now, I feel particularly good about a small loss: it's way too easy to stress eat and sabotage  yourself. I've done that plenty of times.

Checking in on my goals:

1. Find a whole wheat sourdough bread recipe: DONE. I blogged the whole saga, and the final recipe is here. The good news is, it's pretty easy to make with a stand mixer. Even better, when I want it to, the start will wait patiently in the fridge until I'm ready for it. And, if I'm not interested in going whole hog, then I can get a quick nutritional boost from something like zucchini bread or banana bread. Actually, just about any quick bread can be easily adapted to have some sourdough and wheat flour in it. If anyone wants some start, it's easy to mail.

2. Desserts no more than once a day: Doing pretty good, mostly. Even the chocolate chips.  We'll see if I can maintain it; I like chocolate.

3. At least 1/2 quart of water daily: Still need work here. I usually have water every day, but too often it's not enough.

4. Weekly bike rides: Still doing pretty well. We started school this week, so we'll see how well I'm able to maintain it, now that we're busier.

5. Notebook tracking: Only did this about half the month, which is less than useful. But I've started again. I need to streamline the process or something.

Overall, I'm pretty happy with how things are going. But I'm worried about how well I'll be able to keep it up. Winter is harder than summer, and it's coming.

September is Here!

Alright! I guess summer's winding down. Ah well, bring on the jacket weather!

So, my check-in this month.. oi oi.

Eat veggies every day:
So, I totally fell off the wagon with this one. I think I might need to rearrange when I do my grocery shopping.. if I have time to chop up my broccoli and stuff as I'm unloading things, then it's a lot likelier that I do it, plus it's easier to get it cooked and eaten. But that didn't happen this month, and we kept running out of lettuce for salads (which at least means we were eating salads while we had the lettuce). So, I say C for this month.

Don't eat dessert every day:
Well, we did stop with the Costco sized everything, so that has helped. And I discovered a pretty tasty cake-in-a-mug recipe that is quite tasty and hits the spot (yay portion control). So, I still struggle to make good choices all the time, but I'm ok with this being an on-going process. Here, I give myself a C-.

Get up and move every day:
Along with my working to get outside more often for movement, I've been trying to work in incidental movement into my day as well. Stuff like chasing my boys around the living room more often, dancing while I'm making dinner (most often while holding Moon to keep him from following me around crying), stuff like that.
Also, just this week I've decided to do more exercising during our slow (read: grumpy) times of day.. Thus getting me moving a bit more and show the kids that exercises can be a fun activity. I just have to keep from squashing anyone while doing it - nothing more exciting to climb on (around, and under) than a mama doing leg lifts and planks!
So, I'll keep my C in this category and hopefully will have more progress to report next month!

However, I read this really great Confucius quote (from my September page of my zen calendar) that really resonates with me right now:
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."

September is Here!

Alright! I guess summer's winding down. Ah well, bring on the jacket weather!

So, my check-in this month.. oi oi.

Eat veggies every day:
So, I totally fell off the wagon with this one. I think I might need to rearrange when I do my grocery shopping.. if I have time to chop up my broccoli and stuff as I'm unloading things, then it's a lot likelier that I do it, plus it's easier to get it cooked and eaten. But that didn't happen this month, and we kept running out of lettuce for salads (which at least means we were eating salads while we had the lettuce). So, I say C for this month.

Don't eat dessert every day:
Well, we did stop with the Costco sized everything, so that has helped. And I discovered a pretty tasty cake-in-a-mug recipe that is quite tasty and hits the spot (yay portion control). So, I still struggle to make good choices all the time, but I'm ok with this being an on-going process. Here, I give myself a C-.

Get up and move every day:
Along with my working to get outside more often for movement, I've been trying to work in incidental movement into my day as well. Stuff like chasing my boys around the living room more often, dancing while I'm making dinner (most often while holding Moon to keep him from following me around crying), stuff like that.
Also, just this week I've decided to do more exercising during our slow (read: grumpy) times of day.. Thus getting me moving a bit more and show the kids that exercises can be a fun activity. I just have to keep from squashing anyone while doing it - nothing more exciting to climb on (around, and under) than a mama doing leg lifts and planks!
So, I'll keep my C in this category and hopefully will have more progress to report next month!

However, I read this really great Confucius quote (from my September page of my zen calendar) that really resonates with me right now:
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."

August Check-in

Well! That went by quick! Here we are in August.


Here's my progress report:

1. No more than one piece of bread or one sandwich at a meal.

Uh... yeah. About that. I'm not sure that this one is a good one for me. I've been making sourdough bread that's around 1/2 wheat, 1/2 white. Sometimes it pushes toward 2/3 wheat, but if I go past that, then it's not tasty; I really want to find a recipe for whole wheat sourdough, but oddly enough, that's been difficult. But I've had my biscuits 1/2 wheat, and the muffins -- did you know that you can use sourdough instead of baking powder? Sourdough's cool. Though it's really tough to keep in the summer if I'm not using it every single day. Whatever. I'm growing new skills, and I'm discovering some things, using this much wheat flour.

When I eat wheat like this, fresh ground and usually sourdough, my cravings back waaaay off. I've known for a while that I'm typically low on magnesium. Actually, most women are -- which is at the root of the stereotypical chocolate cravings (among other things): chocolate has magnesium, though not enough to satisfy the need. So I was taking magnesium supplements for a while. But when I started eating the whole wheat sourdough stuff, the cravings backed way off. Turns out, wheat has a lot of magnesium, too. Other things are also good when I'm eating whole wheat. I feel good. Go figure: "wheat [is] for man". So I'm amending this goal: Find a whole wheat sourdough recipe by September 1. There's plenty of time for practice in getting it right!


 2. If I have dessert, it will be only one helping in a day.

As long as we don't count the chocolate chips, I'm doing well here. I keep the chips to a reasonable quantity, and if I do them near daily, it's not much on any day, so I don't feel bad. This one, I'm doing well with.


3. Drink 2 quarts of water - every day.

 I don't know why this one is so tough. I'm great at being a sedentary water drinker -- used to actually do a gallon, when I spent more time at my computer. But now that I'm up and around more, and having tons less computer time than I used to, getting my water in is very, very difficult. I don't know what to do about this, other than just keep trying.


4. Weekly bike rides.

This one is going well, now that we've got Dragon up to speed without his training wheels. We're actually doing two rides a lot of weeks. At least for the summer and into the fall, I'm feeling pretty good about my activity level. Yoga most days, gardening and yard work, and regular bike rides.


5. Notebook tracking.

I've (mostly) been doing this, but I haven't got any huge insights,  yet. It does, however, keep me thinking about this stuff. I do better, overall, when I'm tracking. I eat more veggies, I move more, I get more water, and generally make more healthy choices. So even if it's not showing me how to fix things in an obvious sort of way, it is definitely helping. And the data is accumulating, so hopefullly I can put it to good use at some point. I definitely have a hormonal element to my weight, still, and I'm determined to ferret it out.


 I've been pondering what Emma had to say about her thin friend's family customs around food and health, and I'm thinking that I want to talk to some of my friends, and see if I can find out more about this, and discover if there are any common threads in what people do, what the family culture is, where people are successful at this stuff. If I can learn from people who are being successful, then maybe I can have that kind of success for both myself and for my kids. I'd like that.

August Update

Well, here we are, in August. Whee! This summer is flying by. Though, if I'm honest, I'm ok with it being Fall (and not 90° every stinking day).

Anyway, here's my update on my goals for the last month.

Eat a salad every day.
So, I've decided to alter this one slightly; turns out, salads get boring. Instead of specifically going for salad, I'm going to say "Eat veggies every day." This month I've been expanding my veggie intake - I remembered I *really* like roasted broccoli and cauliflower! Even still do! Mmmmm. We even had some roasted carrots too.

I can't say I've eaten veggies *every* day, but there has been a definite improvement this month. So, I'll give myself a B+ for eating veggies.

Don't eat dessert every day.
The first two weeks of July I did not do well with this goal. I was only sort of half trying.. but by the end of the month, I determined to get a hold of myself; I'm in charge of me. I really appreciate Emmily's post about being aware of what food one has in the house. I very often feel like I don't have time to do any self-care and may or may not use indulging in yummy foods as my self-care, but this is quite possibly the worst choice for that. It's not even that I always eat "dessert" per se, but snacks. Oh, the snacks. And while I consciously strive to not talk about gaining or losing weight or "fat" and stuff in front of my kids, I'd like to pass on better eating habits to them.

So, Hubby and I chatted and we're going to stop bringing in the Costco sized packages of ALL THE THINGS and focus on finding more healthy snacks. Also, I gotta find a more healthy outlet for my 3-in-the-afternoon-and-i'm-stuck-in-the-house-cuz-babies-cabin-fever cuz right now I frequently find solace in baking sweet sweet things and then eating way too many of them.

Here I'd say this month I earned a D+ with a hopeful outlook moving forward.

Get up and move every day.
Ugh. So, I slacked off with this the first half of the month. Seriously, it's rough to motivate myself to go for a walk when I'll be pushing a stroller and/or carrying a baby on my chest and it's 90°+ outside. And it's a serious struggle to find time to actually get on the treadmill before 10pm cuz sleep wins out every time (driven by knowing that Moon will be up at least twice before 6am).

However, the 2nd half of the month I got more determined and the frequency improved. So, overall, I'd say a solid C here.

I tell myself this is a process.. two months feels like a long time but, really, it's not. This is me striving for long-term change, so not being perfect in two months is ok. I'm making adjustments and learning and that's what is important for now.

Hello!

This blog has been revived! Who knew? I need to figure out how to have it email me when someone posts. I'm sure they have a super easy notification system. But I'm excited we are playing again!

I read through the check ins and decided that it would be a good idea for me to do one, but since I'm feeling a strong desire to write on my personal blog (I totally got distracted by new posts here) I'm just going to do a really quick check in/update.

I am now at my heaviest weight since getting married. Not ever, so that's nice, but it's still not a good place to be. I have spent a lot of time being upset about my weight and how high it has gotten. I have even put some effort into fixing it.
However. I have decided to stop worrying so much about my numbers on the scale, on my clothes, on the measuring tape, whatever. I am not a number and numbers should not be able to make me feel so incredibly disgusted with myself. I should not feel like I am a failure and dwell on the results of this particular shortcoming. Try to fix it? Absolutely. But obsess and constantly indulge in negative self-talk? Definitely not.
I also had an interesting conversation with my sister-in-law about healthy lifestyles and teaching our kids. My mother-in-law made a comment about hoping that her children do not follow in her footsteps as far as health goes, and it occurred to me just how often she (and others) make(s) comments on family members' weight and health. How often shortcomings are pointed out. So I turned to Jocelyn (who never works out but is still thin) and asked about her family's habits when she was growing up. Did they worry about weight? Did they constantly think about making the right decisions? Was it a constant battle to stay thin?
Her answer was a resounding no. They *never* thought about it. Their parents kept healthy food in the house and so the junk food was not a temptation simply because it wasn't there. They were taught to eat healthy foods and portions just because that's how it was, not because they were always focusing on staying healthy.
Obsession is never healthy. I know what is good and I know what is not. I know that I am 40lbs heavier than I was before I got pregnant with Rachel. I know that I want to be healthy and sever the family legacy of obesity. But I cannot obsess. I cannot feel miserable because I made a poor decision, or even a string of them. I am more than a number. More than a dress size. In many ways it's not even important.

So much for keeping this short so I can write on my other blog! And maybe everyone else has already realized these things and didn't get anything out of this. But it's nice to get it out and sort out my own direction so, if you're still reading, thanks for letting me get it out. I'm glad this blog is back and I'm glad I have a place to put this.

Goodnight.

July Check-in

I like the idea of monthly check-ins. Weight loss is not a short trip! And things are so busy right now (when are they not?) that monthly check-ins are more likely to happen.

So. How's things? Meh. I still have a long old way to go.


The various goals have become kind of mushy. I need to post them inside the cupboard where I keep my snacks or something, so that I think of them more often.

But, here they are.


1. No more than one piece of bread or one sandwich at a meal.

LOL. Bread is tasty. I suck at this. I should re-write this goal in terms of keeping up the veggie intake. Let the veggies crowd the bread. I think that would work better.


2. If I have dessert, it will be only one helping in a day.

Most days, there's no dessert. Most days, if there is, I can keep it to one, no problem. But then we go to my BFF's house and there's potluck and everybody is an awesome cook... yeah. I over do it those days, every time.


3. Drink 2 quarts of water - every day.

 I'm getting there. Most days, I'm close, if not quite there. I've got my 2nd quart sitting next to the computer as I type this, and I'm probably going to have it down before I sleep. The water thing is improving, and everything works better when well-hydrated. Including getting rid of fat.


4. Daily supplements.

I need to get some more of these; I've run out of both the magnesium and the dandelion-burdock concoction that I drink.


5. Weekly bike rides, at least for the summer.

Dragon has learned to ride without training wheels!! Which means that we can start going to the park on bikes again. I told him that he has to practice his brakes some more (funny how important stopping can be), but we made it to the park again tonight, and it was just lovely. Gardening is another summer thing that I can do to increase the activity level pretty painlessly. And my yard thanks me when I do it. And the kids are big enough now that they're not going to run into the street,if I take my eyes off them for .05 seconds.


The big development is that I've started a notebook tracking things. I write down how I feel, what I eat, the physical activities, any remedies I take, and basically anything that seems relevant. I'm collecting data, so that I can find patterns. Like, yesterday, something that I ate didn't agree with me. We had a movie day for the kids, and our friends brought over some very processed food - cheetos. I had some of those, and also some rice crispie treats. This morning I was up fully 2 pounds when I got on the scale. I suspect that it was the very processed cheetos, more than the rice crispies. Tomorrow, I'll probably make another pan of rice crispies for the pot luck we're going to, so I'll be able to compare my body's reaction. I need to find my thermometer too, and start charting my cycles again. The kids got so bad about swiping my thermometer that I got out of the habit - and my cycles are so much more regular now than they've ever been, that it's not bee a problem. But I am convinced that there is a hormonal aspect to my weight, and to why its so difficult to get rid of. Or perhaps some allergy. I know that my body hates high fructose corn syrup: 1 soda will put me up 2 pounds the next morning. I'm looking for other patterns, trying to ferret out the pieces to the puzzle that is my body.

Goals Update - July

Happy July, all! I wish I could say we were doing fun stuff this weekend, but all our holiday plans are in limbo cuz we got sick kids. Hopefully we all get better/ stay healthy!

Anyway, so my goals back in June were these:

• Eat a salad every day
• Don't eat dessert every day
• Get up and move every day

Eat a salad every day.
Well, while there was overall improvement in this area over what was before, I didn't stay consistent. I kept track of my days in all the goals so I could remember things for a whole month. The first two weeks were excellent! Then we ran out of lettuce (turns out we ate more than previously). Then we went on vacation. During the vacation, I did make a more conscious effort to eat veggies, but certainly not every day.

So, all things considered, for this area I give myself a C+.

Don't eat dessert every day.
I suppose this area is so broad that as long as I don't eat dessert at least once in the month I'm winning! However, I opted to take it week by week to better see trends. Again, the first two weeks I did very well and things tapered off from there. Also, the vacation didn't help (s'mores anyone?). However it's actually been hardest since we came back. My boys, who slept great the whole vacation, have decided that they don't need to continue that lovely trend now that we're at home. We've had a series of terrible nights and I make terrible food choices when I'm exhausted.

So, overall, this one gets a C-.

Get up and move every day.
Again, some improvement over what was in this area. And, actually, the vacation helped this area. Except for the traveling days, we went places and walked a lot. Dude, stairs while wearing a 20lb baby are no small thing.

This area I give myself a C+.

All around, for June, I'd call it a solid C. Better than failing, but definitely room to improve. See you in August! 

Check-in: Good Enough

Last week, I set some goals. Here's how I did:

1. No more than one piece of bread or one sandwich at a meal.

I forgot this, and was thinking general portion control, rather than bread. I think I'll modify it to portion control, generally: stop eating when I'm not hungry. I did pretty well with that most of the time.





2. If I have dessert, it will be only one helping in a day.

I did this. It was hard, sometimes. But I did it.



3. Drink 2 quarts of water - every day.

I at least got close. Which is an improvement. I'll take it.




4. Daily supplements. I've got a couple. I'm not being consistent -- and they help my overall health.

I did better, but there's still room for improvement. The one of them doesn't taste very good, and I think I need to find a way to fix that.

5. Weekly bike rides, at least for the summer.

I did not take my bike out all week. As usual, this week was a zoo. I have to figure out what to do about that. 

So a mixed bag. BUT. I'm down on the scale, and I made progress in the right direction on taking care of my body. So I'm calling it a success!

Challenge and Change

True story. I need challenge to change. There's a sweet spot, not too much, not too little, but juuuuust right. The lady in the meme is doing Crow Pose -- a basic version. The full-on pose puts the knees in the armpits. But I like this one: this is the one that I regularly fall out of. However, I can tell that, by trying and trying again (and again), I'm ever so slowly getting closer.

Small progress is progress -- and it's encouraging. One of these days, I'm going to figure out this business of taking care of my body, and it's going to be awesome.

Bodies are cool.

Perfect Timing

Miss Kate has perfect timing. I've been thinking seriously about how my body's doing, how I want it to be doing, and where my current habits will take me -- and I'm not liking the end of that path so much. I need a new one.

I also like the idea of small changes. Baby Steps. I realized just the other day that my littlest "little" one is now too big to be the culprit in my weight issues, and that this is on me. Pretty sure there's some underlying hormonal issues -- and I'm also pretty sure that I like to eat more than I should. And that's where I'm starting.

Several months back, I got the stomach bug, and I was sick. I got so incredibly thirsty, but if I drank more than the tiniest sip, my stomach rebelled and badness ensued. It took incredible self-control to limit myself to the little sips - teaspoons at first - that my body could tolerate, and I was soooo thirsty. Since then, I've been pondering that experience, and the phrase "bridle your passions." For several months I've been resisting the lesson, as it applies to my weight. I like to eat. Dessert is nice!

For me, part of my problem is a habit of indulgence. I know that I have a will strong enough to control my body - even strong urges, like to drink when I'm extremely thirsty. I have not been using much self-mastery in this area; indulging is pleasant. And the scale's slow ticking upward is the effect.

I really like the idea of small changes. So. Here's my plan:

1. No more than one piece of bread or one sandwich at a meal.
2. If I have dessert, it will be only one helping in a day.
3. Drink 2 quarts of water - every day.
4. Daily supplements. I've got a couple. I'm not being consistent -- and they help my overall health.
5. Weekly bike rides, at least for the summer.

So. I know that regular check-ins help me. Monday is going to be my check-in day. This week is the start of some new habits for me, too.

The Goal: Form New Habits

Ha! It's been almost exactly 3 years since I last posted on here. Whee! Fun fun.

Anyway, so, I follow this blog of a famous guy who's clever and funny and posts about a myriad of things. A few months ago he started posting about "hitting the reset button" in various areas of his life. He follows up monthly and grades himself in the areas and talks about what's good and what needs work, and he's very candid about it.

Over the last few months, as I've followed along, it's struck me that his method is a great one for creating new habits; he's got solid, defined goals and a follow-up plan, plus a live audience to help keep him honest. And, while I don't have millions of followers, I do have a place I can post about things where people might see and comment... so, here I am.

I've been wanting to lose weight for some time now but, instead, seem to be steadily gaining. Tiny babies make regular, planned *anything* exceptionally challenging, and so often I'm too rundown and sleep deprived to muster the energy to make (and keep) big changes in my routine.

However! Small things, new habits.. those I can do. Weight-loss/Being healthy is really a lifestyle thing anyway. So my plan is to form new habits by writing them down and grading myself monthly. Hopefully that'll keep it feeling like an ongoing project versus a crash diet that is temporary.

Here are my goals:

• Eat a salad every day
• Don't eat dessert every day
• Get up and move every day

So, here we go! I will check back on July 1st and give myself a report-card update.